Anything on your burger sir?

Five pounds each way!

I'm never touching a Tesco's burger again.

I'm switching to their meatballs; they are the dogs bollox.

I bet the French are wondering what all the fuss is about.

Funnily enough it's the only thing I'm allergic to. Quite a few years ago on a school trip we had burgers for dinner - thought it tasted different at the time, then my mouth and tongue started tingling, tongue and lips swelled up. Wasn't a pleasant experience!

Any legal advisors amongst us? How do you deal with an employer who, despite your contract stating you'll be paid the third Friday of the month, consistently fails to do so and then informs you that they can't pay you on time because they don't have the money?

Citizen's Advice might be your first port of call. Then possibly the small claims court? My brother, who taught juggling as an agency employee for a while, was in the same situation and I think he eventually resolved it in the small claims court.

Don't waste your time and energy, find another job.

He probably wants his money from this one first though ... otherwise, yes. Just get something else.

Well quite, I just always feel when you have to threaten your employer with that kind of thing then it's unlikely to result in a long term happy relationship.

My last job and my current one have both seen me arrive at payday to find my account in the red due to a lack of wages going in, at my last employers I left and they never bothered sorting it and at my current one polite but constant enquiring every payday saw the matter resolved.

I would suggest you look at finding a new job - it sounds like your employer has serious cash flow problems if they can't even pay their employees - you have the right to payment under employment laws and can enforce these via the small claims court after you have left if they still haven't paid you.
As a rule of thumb, most businesses normally pay in the following order: employees then suppliers and other creditors - if they are paying your suppliers first then it looks fatal as they are doing that to keep sales going - is the business invoice discounting by any chance?
I suspect that its going bust very shortly I'm afraid......