Wow - yes, I hadn't noticed that Neil... wonder what they're all lookin' at?

Must be 'cause I never shut up, or perhaps they're just wondering what my latest calamity is!

It's funny how things can change. there hasn't been much to report since the gearbox has been fixed other than I don't know if it's my imagination or not but the box sounds a little quieter?

Yesterday I drove over to Knarsborough to pick up that studio easel I mentioned in a previous post, around 160 mile or so round trip that was. I half expected the thing to have to stick out of the roof antiques road show style but in the end it slid in the boot and up under the front seat (rear seat left at home) so all was well. The weather was a little grotty too so I was glad it had fit inside.

So that would have been all there was to say, but I did say quickly how things can change and they have. I went down to 'the town that hath no name' again today as my Mother has had a serious fall and had suffered head and back injuries. Usually when visiting I park right outside the house so I can keep an eye on the car but today I had to park two doors down and out of sight due to the neighbours privetts.

Upon leaving a couple of hours later the car drove well for the first quarter of a mile or so before it died at the traffic lights. I got it started again (just) but not without a backfire from the exhaust. It pulled away hesitantly, only smoothing out on higher throttle, but at the next roundabout by Reebok stadium it died again, then fluttered, then recovered in a sort of limping along kind of way.

I decided that under the circumstances I'd give the motorway a miss and travel the next 15 miles or so home by A roads. Around three miles further on the engine spluttered and cut out completely. By now it was twilight, and I hadn't much faith in making it home. Rolling to a standstill at the side of the road I suspected that my fuel had been spiked, possibly by one of the shaven headed morons from the pub across the road from my parents who had thought it amusing.

I got to wondering "what is this thing with completely shaved heads?" I worked for many years as a doorman where I was known as 'the one with hair', I got used to knowing plenty shaven headed men, but now it seems the entire population of that town is bald.

Anyway I digress, at the side of the road I lifted the bonnet just in case there was 'something' obviously wrong like a loose wire or whatever - but no.

No sooner had I lifted the bonnet than a Blue Peugeot 205 sped by, the bald headed prick driving it leaning out of the window while shouting something unintelligible - obviously an insult. Hope that made you feel like a man fella'.

This happy breed of men, this little world,
This precious stone set in the silver sea,

Yeh right!

With nothing amiss I closed the bonnet and gave the car one more try, it started, spluttered, then ran, it ran well enough to get us home but not good enough to ignore, looks like I need to drain the tank and renew the fuel tomorrow.

do you have a lockable filler cap? if not i would imagine someone took a leak down the filler cap. what you could do is buy one of these http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/MR-FUNNEL-F1-SMAL ... _780wt_905
and re use the fuel. i always use one of those iff illing from a jerry can.

what sort of spluttery, lack of power? thinkiing about what i said, water in the fuel is going to stop the car running all together, see it in outboards all the time. so either that or they put sand or something like that in there to block the jet or something, at any rate have the carb of first if i were you, see whats in the float bowel if theres water then you know whats going on, and if its a blocked jet then you wont have to drain the tank, i assume you had fuel in the tank? dare i say it.
but i find that fuel funnel a god send, amount of water grit sand shit that ive looked at and gone, hehe thats not in my tank now
sorry to here about your mother hope shes ok.

also with the stupidty of that person, i was driving down the road, and 2 8 year olds look at me, and go "wanker" and do the symbol. i was like wtf your 8!!

I thought you were going to say that somebody had shoved something up the tailpipe of the exhaust(potato, or such like), so stopping the engine from running properly.

that would cause it to have lessoned power, its a though, but it did back fire from exhaust though

No I think they just put something in the tank, probably a bit of left over lager or similar, or maybe they pee'd in it who knows? I'll get myself a locking cap it was on the 'to do' list but I just didn't get around to it. You can always drill the end of your exhaust pipe and put a cross bolt through to stop stuff being pushed up there, we used to do it to the cars we drove a few years back, there didn't seem much point on my 2cv though.

well id have the carb of first o-n so you know whats going on, rather thand rain the tank first!

Dear Mr Nail....

Like your posts a lot.....and this is a massive fred....so I guess you kept us all entertained now for a long time....so I am sure others feel the same.

Nice one. Keep it up !! Like what you say.....and paint.....lots...I still have "easel envey" !!!

However I now feel guilty as I just had my head shaved !!!
Some of us are old gits and its the best option we have!!

Agree on the lager (red wine please!) front.....although wish my misses dint like her Peugoful so much......but honestly it wasnt me......promise....

Maybe I should wear a hat more often !!

.... www.mishmashmorris.org.uk/

sometimes I do.....but you know what they say about Morris Dancing !!!

http://www.mishmashmorris.org.uk/

opps dont think I got it "inserted" properly.....

"oh Matron"



....now where are we on this ? ......

......nice one mate....err....2CVs....I think....if I am not careful I will be talking about chickens next !!.....

Dear Mr. Squeezebox.

Thank you for the kind words.
Please allow me to say that I have nothing against ' ordinary' people with shaved heads, but rather those that wear a shaven head as part of some sort of statement of latent aggression, and who would otherwise have a perfectly normal head of hair.

Such individuals can be discerned from what we might consider the 'innocent' baldie's such as yourself by certain must have accessories-to-the-bald-head that are also inevitably present.

These are:

Designer labelled casual wear, usually the tasteless ones that we would leave on the peg, like stripey sweatshirts.

The Liam Gallagher swagger.

Missing, or gold front tooth.

Thick linked, gold neck-chain, prominently displayed with matching pirate earring.

Tattoos done with a sewing needle and indian ink. (Again I have nowt against tattoos, I have one myself, however I know a Bolton lad called Tommy who has the letters T-O-M-M tattoo'd on the knuckles of one hand, having ran out of fingers for the 'Y'.) Others include tattoos on the side of the (bald) skull, small tattoo of a gun in the nape of the neck.

Mobile phone (latest model) into which you constantly eff and blind at the 'stupid bitch' at home, apparently.

Bull mastiff, as Rottweilers are sooo last year.

If you are displaying any of the above symptoms allied to your newly shaven head, then please nip down to your local Hospital (but not in the Peugeot) and tell them that you aren't feeling 'normal'. To establish if your symptoms are real or simply due to watching episodes of 'shameless' they may ask you certain questions, such as "Have you ever been to Bolton?"

P.S. I notice that you described this as a 'Fred', I'm quite worried now, as that's one of the symptoms I forgot to list.